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Bir veda yemeği daha / Another goodbye dinner (the fifth this year)

Elif Korkmaz@elif_ships

October 18, 2026 · 3 min read

38 rep in Remote Life

Contents(4)

Dün akşam bir veda yemeği daha vardı. Bu yıl beşinci. Ekipten Can, Amsterdam'a gidiyor. Kadıköy'de her zamanki meyhanede oturduk, rakı, meze, ve herkes aynı soruyu sordu: "Sen ne zaman gidiyorsun Elif?"

(For the English readers: last night was another goodbye dinner. The fifth this year. Can from my team is moving to Amsterdam. We sat in our usual meyhane in Kadıköy, rakı, meze, and everyone asked the same question: "When are you leaving, Elif?")

I want to write about this honestly, because I think a lot of people in a lot of countries are living the same thing right now and we don't talk about it much on a tech site.

Why they leave

I'll keep it simple and label it as my opinion. Salaries in lira don't survive inflation: you get a raise in January and by September it's a pay cut. Housing in Istanbul is insane. And some people just want to live somewhere they are less tired of the news. A senior frontend dev in Amsterdam earns roughly three to four times what the same person earns here, even after the Dutch cost of living. That math is hard to argue with.

Why I'm (still) staying

  • My parents are here, and they're getting older. I'm an only child.
  • I work for a company with a remote-friendly team, and part of my salary is indexed to euros. That's a privilege, and I know it.
  • I lead a team of 7 here. If I go, the juniors I hired lose their lead. Someone has to stay and train the next ones. That sounds dramatic. It's also true.
  • And honestly: Istanbul. The ferry to Kadıköy at sunset, çay on the boat, the gulls trying to steal your simit. Every friend who left tells me they miss the ferry most.

What I tell the ones who go

Go. Seriously, go, if that's what you need. Nobody owes their country their burnout. Send photos. Come back for the ferry. Keep reviewing our PRs on GitHub if you get bored. Two of my ex-colleagues still do, from Berlin, for free, and it's the sweetest thing.

What I'm asking

For those of you who stayed somewhere while everyone left (and I know there are many of you here, from Cairo, Lagos, Beirut, Caracas, Colombo...): how do you deal with the goodbye dinners? Is there a version of staying that doesn't feel like being left behind?

Kolay gelsin herkese.

#remote-work#career#salary#turkish

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Comments

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Youssef Abdelrahman@youssef_eg34 rep in Remote Life
ya Elif you just described Cairo exactly. five goodbye dinners this year for me too, and every time the same question. I'm still applying for remote jobs paid in dollars so I can stay, not leave. that's my version of staying
1 net votes
Elif Korkmaz@elif_ships38 rep in Remote Life
this is exactly the version I meant. remote, paid in a stable currency, staying home. iyi şanslar hocam, #62 or whatever number you're on now
2 net votes
Youssef Abdelrahman@youssef_eg34 rep in Remote Life
#74 now 😂 but inshallah
1 net votes
José Gregorio Marcano@chamo_coder1 rep in Remote Life
Elif, half my family is in Colombia, Chile and Spain. For me the goodbye dinners were at the airport. My version of staying: work for clients outside, keep my mother company, and make sure the ones who left still have a reason to call on Sundays. It does feel like being left behind sometimes. But someone has to keep the house.
2 net votes
Elif Korkmaz@elif_ships38 rep in Remote Life
"someone has to keep the house" 🥲 thank you chamo
0 net votes
Rami Haddad@rami_beirut#6 in Remote Life
beirut checking in. my whole university class is in paris, montreal and dubai. I stayed for my parents and my balcony. the honest answer is: some days it feels like a choice and some days it feels like being left. both are true. we have the corniche instead of the ferry, same thing. kolay gelsin ya Elif
4 net votes
Mehmet Aydoğan@malloc_mehmet1 rep in Remote Life
Elif, I left in 2009 for Germany and I still miss the ferry. The people who stay keep the country running. Also your opinion about rakı with meze is correct, for once.
1 net votes
Elif Korkmaz@elif_ships38 rep in Remote Life
hocam, "for once" 😄 but thank you. come back for the ferry sometime
1 net votes
Aoife Brennan@aoifeb_dev1 rep in Remote Life
ireland had this in the 80s and again after 2008, my uncles all went to boston and london. half of them came back eventually. the ferry is a good reason. sending love
0 net votes
Artyom Sokolov@relocant_artyom2 rep in Remote Life
From the other side of it: I left. Belgrade now. The goodbye dinners were awful, and the welcome dinners in a new city are lonely in a different way. Nobody wins this cleanly. Stay in touch with the ones who go, it matters more than you think.
1 net votes
Hiba Osman@hiba_dxb3 rep in Remote Life
I left Khartoum in 2016 and I have sat on both sides of that dinner table. Elif, your juniors are lucky. Staying to train the next ones is not small. It is how places survive.
3 net votes