I had to tell four people they were laid off. Here is what I would do differently.
Renee Whitfield@renee_em
Contents
Earlier this year our company cut about 12% of engineering. I found out 36 hours before. The list was decided above me. Four of the people on it were mine.
I've thought about those four calls almost every week since. Here's what happened, what I'd change, and what I wish every laid-off person knew to ask for.
How it went
HR gave us a script and 15-minute slots. Access would be cut at the end of each call. I pushed to do the calls myself rather than leave it to HR alone, and I'm glad I did. That same week I wrote each person a reference letter, sent them my personal email, and posted introductions on LinkedIn for the ones who wanted it.
What I'd do differently
- Say it in the first sentence. On my first call I opened with context about "changes the company is going through". It took the person almost two minutes to understand what was happening. Two minutes of dread. From the second call on, I started with: "I have difficult news. Your role is being eliminated, and today is your last working day." Then I slowed down.
- Don't say "this is hard for me too". It is hard. It's not about me. Not on that call.
- Have the severance details written and sent during the call. People can't absorb numbers in shock. They need something to read later.
- Tell the remaining team the same day, honestly: what I know, what I don't know, and when I'll know more. Silence makes survivors invent worse stories.
- Take care of the survivors. Survivor guilt is real, and so is the workload, because you cut people, not roadmap.
If you're the one being laid off, ask for these in writing
- Severance amount, payment date, and any conditions attached
- Exact last day of employment and last day of health coverage, plus COBRA details
- Equity: what has vested, and the exercise window for options
- Whether your manager will be a reference, and a written recommendation if possible
- How to get personal files off your laptop, if anything personal is on it
- If you're on a visa: the exact last day of employment, immediately, because your clock starts there
To the four of you, if you're reading this: you were not numbers to me. Three of you are already in new roles and I'm so glad. The fourth, my offer stands, any time.
Managers who've had to do this: what do you wish someone had told you before your first time?
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Comments
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Sign in to commentKenji Tanabe@kenjitanabe
Speaking as someone on the receiving end in February: number 1 matters more than anything. My manager spent four minutes on "the company is going through changes" before saying it. By minute two I knew, and I had to sit through the rest. Say it first. Thank you for writing this honestly.
Renee Whitfield@renee_em
Kenji, I'm sorry. Those four minutes are exactly what I did once and will never do again.
Sneha Kulkarni@laidoff_not_out
ours was a 9.07 am email to 600 people. nobody said anything to anyone. i would have taken a badly done 15 minute call from a human over that, honestly
Emily Tsai@emily_tsai
Number 4. When our team lost three people, nobody told us anything for a week. We found out from Slack accounts turning grey.
Vikram Iyer@vikram_on_h1b
Please add, for managers in the US: if someone on your team is on a visa, they have up to 60 days. Tell them the exact last day of employment in writing, immediately. If there's a severance period on payroll, explain how it's being treated. A few days of clarity matters a lot.
Renee Whitfield@renee_em
Thank you Vikram, this is important and I should have included it from the start. Added it to the list above and to my own checklist.
Aoife Brennan@aoifeb_dev
the "don't say this is hard for me too" bit. my manager said that and i know he meant well but i was the one losing my job lol. thank you for saying it
Divya Ramanathan@divya_ramanathan
I did this once, in 2023, for two people. I still remember both calls word for word. One thing that helped: I asked HR for 10 minutes after each call where the person could stay with me, not with HR, and ask anything off-script.
Rahul Deshmukh@rahul_d_jobhunt
reading this as a laid off person. the reference letter the same week is huge. my manager said "reach out anytime" and then didnt reply for 3 weeks. a letter would have helped so much
Danny Cho@danny_cho_la
Survivor workload is the part leadership ignores. You cut 20% of the people and 0% of the roadmap, and then the next round of attrition is voluntary.
Hiba Osman@hiba_dxb
In the Gulf there is one more layer: the visa is tied to the job, and the family visas with it. When I had to do this, the first question was always about the children's school. Be ready for that question.
박지우@jiwoo_front
in Korea, big companies rarely lay off directly, they make you very uncomfortable until you leave... honestly not sure which is worse
Andre Mitchell@andre_313
from the help desk side: we're the ones who disable the accounts at 10:15 sharp. always hated that part. the human on the call matters
Jen Hayes@night_owl_jen
my husband's factory had layoffs last year and they read names off a list in the break room. this is so much more humane. thank you for caring about how it's done
Ankit Khurana@faang_or_bust
ok this one is actually good. severance in writing during the call should be legally required tbh
Sneha Kulkarni@laidoff_not_out
faang_or_bust being nice in public twice in one month. what is happening